What’s stopping you?

For some of us, creating a journaling practice is like starting any new habit. We know it’s supposed to be “good for us”—helping us slow down, process our thoughts and feelings, and gain clarity. But getting started can be challenging. Even when we're eager to dive in, we tend to set up rules that hold us back from fully tapping into journaling's potential for self-discovery and personal growth.

One of the biggies is this idea of perfectionism. We think every entry has to be profound, perfectly articulated, almost like it’s going to be published. But really, journaling is about messy, raw honesty—a safe place to explore our thoughts, even if they’re not polished or profound every time (or ever!).

Then there's the consistency trap. We convince ourselves we have to write every single day or follow a strict routine to make it count. While journaling research suggests that consistency is key to developing and maintaining a meaningful journaling practice, isn’t this true of any habit we want to develop? Journaling shouldn’t be a chore or another thing on our checklist; it should be a place we return to, whenever we need it.

For many, fear of vulnerability is a barrier to journaling. We hesitate to write honestly about our deepest fears, insecurities, or raw emotions, fearing judgment—even from ourselves. This fear can lead to superficial entries that skim the surface of our experiences, missing the opportunity for genuine reflection and healing.

Comparison is yet another issue that plagues many journal writers. We compare our writing style, content, or insights to those of others—whether it's a famous memorist or a friend in our writing circle. This comparison breeds self-doubt and diminishes the unique value of our own voice and journey. You’re not alone here; I’ve been journaling most of my life and I still struggle to accept my own writing at times.

In my workshops, we throw out these rules and self-criticisms and focus on a few simple truths. First off, there are no rules in journaling—just possibilities. Your journal is your safe space to explore—however and whenever you want. Whether you write daily or sporadically, whether your entries are paragraphs or bullet points, each reflection is valid and valuable.

At my workshops, we also talk a lot about self-kindness. Journaling isn’t about producing perfect prose; it’s about honoring your journey, imperfections and all. It’s about embracing who you are right now, in this moment.

So, if you’ve felt held back by your own rules in journaling, know that it’s okay. Recognize those barriers, but don’t let them define your practice. Embrace the messiness, the imperfections, and the moments of vulnerability. Continue to the next section—Give it a try—to explore some ways to overcome barriers, create your ideal journaling conditions, and set a clear intention for your practice.